I've always loved this quote by Gandhi because it reminds us that the true source of our power comes from inside of us, not outside of us. That may seem hard to believe in this deeply stressful and chaotic time we are living in.
These wise words from Gandhi came into my mind as I watched the funeral service for Congressman John Lewis yesterday, who I deeply admired. His life was the embodiment of power based on Acts of Love, even in the face of deep hatred, oppression and injustice. I woke up this morning renewed in my commitment to follow in his footsteps and walk the way of truth and love. I hope you will join me!
I've always loved this quote from Marianne Williamson. Love is your birthright and so many of our painful childhood experiences teach us to feel unworthy of love and to fear love because we associate it with pain. But you are good. You are worthy. You deserve love.
If you are struggling with feelings of unworthiness, I'd love to help you with this. Click on my Services page to learn more about online counseling with me.
Are you on Instagram? I'd love to connect with you there @DeligthTheWorld
Do you know the difference between pity and empathy? I had an interesting conversation with one of my teenage clients about this and was blown away by her insight and wisdom. It always hurts my heart when I hear a teenager say “ I hate myself” and this client said that to me a result of being bullied in grade school and never telling anyone about it. When I asked her why she kept this a secret, she replied “ I didn’t want anyone’s pity.” I think all of us have had experiences where we didn’t ask for help or get the support we needed out of fear of being pitied, so we explored why that is.
My client decided that being pitied is an experience of someone being above you, looking down on you and this triggers shame and a feeling of being less than, which is almost as bad as the original insult or hurt. When I asked her about empathy, she described this as an experience of someone being equal to you without judgment, and then you feel safe to ask for support or help. So we established that pity causes shame and separation and empathy creates safety and connection.
As I sat and contemplated the her teenage wisdom, I realized that after 25 years of social work, I couldn’t come up with a better description of the difference between pity and empathy. All of us need empathy in order to feel safe to share our pain and be willing to ask for help. This is essential for our soul’s journey.
If you are having thoughts like “I hate myself” it may help to explore online counseling with me in a safe and empathetic environment. If you want to learn more about it, click on my Services page and if you want to read more posts, click here on my Blog.
Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect with you there – you can follow me @Deligththeworld.
Have you ever had someone insult you or do something that upsets you and you don’t say anything about it when it happens? But then you spend the next three days obsessing about it, coming up with all sorts of great lines you could have said in response and wishing you had thought of then, instead of 72 hours later!
Years ago, my mentor taught me what she called the 24-hour-rule, which is a way to stop yourself from doing this. Invoking the 24-hour-rule means you that when you are upset about something, you give yourself 24 hours to speak up about it, or you forfeit the right to complain about it or spend anymore time analyzing or obsessing on it.
What I like about the 24-hour-rule is that it can help you feel more empowered and less victimized. Forfeiting the right to obsess about something because you didn’t speak up about it within 24 hours, means you are making the choice to liberate yourself from the ongoing angst, instead of letting it control you. And when you do speak up, even if its not the most witty, perfectly worded comeback, you are standing up for what is important to you – and that has great value!
So try the 24-hour rule if you need help learning how to set boundaries and speaking up. And if you like more support and practice doing this, you can click on my Services page to learn more about online counseling with me, and if you want to read more posts click here for my Blog.
Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect with you there – you can follow me @Delighttheworld
Whenever I’m working with a couple that is arguing and unable to listen to each other, I ask my clients this question – Would you rather feel right or feel better? I think if we are honest, most of us would rather feel right than feel better, when we become entrenched in an argument and want to prove our point.
But in your effort to prove yourself right, you are usually single mindedly focused and your energy is contracted, which means you are no longer listening or creating a space for a new way of conceptualizing something, which is how solutions are born.
So why do we need to be right? It feels good! But that's a temporary gain. When you are determined to be right, there will be always be a cost because you will be engaged in a mental battle that disconnects you from the love and wisdom in your heart. You may win the battle but lose your sense of peace and connection to a person you care about. Which one do you value more?
If you are experiencing conflict and considering couples counseling, I would be honored to work with and help you find more peace in your relationship. You can click on my Services page to learn more and if you want to keep reading more posts, click on my Blog.
Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect and you can follow ma @Delighttheworld.
Many years ago I was unemployed and struggling to survive, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to find a way out of the hole I was sinking into. We attach so much of our self worth to what we do, and when we don’t have a job to define our value, it can affect our self-esteem in ways that catch us by surprise. If you are struggling with this right now, I have enormous empathy and compassion for you.
What I learned from my own experience is that regardless of what you do or don’t do, or how much money you earn or don’t earn, you already have a job that has extraordinary value and purpose. You can BE LOVE, and add to the kindness, gentleness, compassion and hope in the world around you. There is no greater gift or resource you can give another human being, especially when your ability to BE LOVE, affirms the dignity of another's soul.
But if you are struggling to do this right now, you may be in a season of your life where you have to allow others to BE LOVE for you. Many people regard allowing other people to help them as an act of weakness, but actually, it is an act of self-esteem. You are worthy to receive what you need, regardless of how much you do or accomplish. You always deserve to BE LOVED.
If you are struggling with self esteem and letting others help you, I’d be honored to walk with you on your journey. If you’d like to learn more about online counseling with me, please click on my Services page and if you want to read more posts, click on my Blog
Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect with you there @Delighttheworld
All of our spiritual teachers had moments of despair and I find comfort knowing that even Gandhi, Jesus, Mother Theresa and Martin Luther King had moments where they doubted that love, light, patience, and faith were the way through darkness, pain and injustice. If they had moments of doubt and hopelessness, then surely we will too!
Right now, it is easy to have moments, hours or even days where it seems like the fight against racism, greed, poverty and any other indignity to the human soul seem hopeless. But Mahatma Gandhi reminds us that the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall.
Sometimes the tyrant dwells inside of you and the oppression and injustice you are battling are the false truths you have come to believe about yourself and your worth as a human being. But I believe that the way of love and truth can win inside of you too.
If you are feeling depressed or hopeless right now, I would love to help you with this.. If you want to learn more about online counseling with me, please click on my Services page and if you want to read more posts click on my Blog.
Mark Twain wrote these wise words long before we had the internet and a lie could actually travel half way around the world in less than a second. I find that comforting, because it is easy to think that technology and social media have destroyed our ability to know and recognize the truth, but this simply isn’t true.
It has always up to us to see and hear the truth when it is offered, regardless of how it is presented. It is our connection to our hearts and the wisdom in our soul that gives us the power and discernment to recognize what it true for us, and the ability to question what isn’t. No technology or form of social media can take the place of that. It has always been an individual journey of each one of us listening to the small still voice within that knows what is true and right for you to listen to and respond to. No force outside of you can stop you from finding the voice of truth.
If you don’t know how to set boundaries with the turmoil outside of you so that you can listen to the wisdom and guidance inside of you, I’d love to help you with this. If you want to learn more about online counseling with me, please click on my Services page and if you want to read more posts click on my Blog.
Are you on Instagram? I’d love to connect with you there @Delighttheworld
I’ve always loved the word Delight! To me it means “of the light” and with all the darkness and fear in the world today, I wanted to create a place where we can gather together, restore our connection to the light and help one another to Delight The World with love, kindness, gentleness, beauty, compassion and grace. —Amy Rose, LCSW