Do you ever find yourself filled with righteous indignation when you hear some politician or leader say or do something polarizing that lacks compassion and understanding? If so, it can be annoying to be reminded that when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you! But since there is a lot of finger pointing in our world today, I’ve come to find this expression more useful than annoying because it helps me become aware of how I’m adding to the anger and polarization in our society and I certainly don’t want to add to that!
The problem with polarization is that it immobilizes us into two camps that stay frozen and can’t move forward, unless one is willing to loosen up its stance a bit. We tend not want to do this because we think it will make us appear weak, or we are giving in and backing down.
I actually look at it a little differently, because I believe that if I can free myself from some judgment that is creating a sense of separation and alienation in me, it will give me the energy I need to restore a sense of connection to my community and bring healing to the world around me. So I use this expression as a tool to help me feel more empowered, not less.
It is easy for me to think "I’d never act that way" when I hear a leader spewing something hateful and unkind, or not responding to human suffering. But if I’m honest and ask myself; how or when have I ever added to hateful and unkind energy in this world, this frees me from being so judgmental and creates a space inside of me where I actually feel better and want to move forward, not stay stuck in anger.
Another way to apply this expression to your life is to ask yourself, who was cruel or unkind to you in your past that perhaps this person is reminding you of? This is often the work I do with my clients, particularly when I’m doing couples counseling, because so often a person we encounter in the world outside of us, triggers some unfinished business in the world inside of us.
When we take the time to go within and get to the real source of our pain or irritation, we can express some of that emotion, which helps us feel more peaceful, less triggered, and empowered to respond in a more loving and compassionate manner. So if you are feeling triggered by all the polarization and animosity in our world today, I’d love to help you manage your anger and free yourself from the stress if may be triggering in your relationships. If you want to know more about online counseling with me, you can click on my Services page.
I’ve always loved the word Delight! To me it means “of the light” and with all the darkness and fear in the world today, I wanted to create a place where we can gather together, restore our connection to the light and help one another to Delight The World with love, kindness, gentleness, beauty, compassion and grace. —Amy Rose, LCSW